Today we’re starting a new mini-series called

SNOOZE ALARM: Really really boring ways to say things

Many consignment, resale, and thrift shops have their digital cameras at the ready, and often snap a few photos of items in their shops to post on Facebook or in their blogs. Good idea….as far as it goes.

But oh, oh, oh. The labels they give their photos, and the captions (if indeed they have any) could put the most avid resale shopper to sleep.

This series started when I read a headline one FBer used for a few pictures of things in her shop. Here’s the stunning, sales-oriented headline s/he used:

“Sample of current stock”

WHAT? Where’s the appeal? Where’s the salesmanship? Where’s the motivation? Where, is short, is the SIZZLE? So, let’s work on WAKING UP our potential customers, by saying things in a way that leads to action…unlike a snooze alarm, whose only function is to let you keep sleeping….

Couldn’t that snooze-y headline be, at least: Goodies just waiting for a new home? Luxurious leather sectional? Temptations Await?

Okay, now you have a headline that might make a few more folks sit up and pay attention. Now let’s take a little look at the captions for those photos. You’ve got to use words to SHOW it to SELL it.

Ruth, owner of Home Enhanced in Indiana, has kindly given me a sample photo of a piece of her merchandise and the caption she used to present it to her current customers.

Ruth’s caption, while not BAD, could be better. She wrote: “Great painted table, the color is unique for an accent piece or pop of color”

Even if you don’t have the time to stage a clever stylist-type of photo, it takes just minutes to paint…pun intended…a word picture to go with the basic photo, maybe:

The cherry-popsicle color of this table really pops! We love its roundy turned legs and stretcher and the sculptural shape of the top. So whimsical, so nostalgic…such personality. Which corner of your home will it nestle into?

See what we’ve done, in less than 40 words?

• Given the color. Photos aren’t always real accurate, especially on monitors, so name it.
• Give the color an evocative name. Cherry-popsicle is a lot more fun than “red.” Think about what you want to evoke: I wouldn’t call those Louboutin pumps mouse-grey even if they are.
• Put words to what makes the piece so appealing: the turned legs etc. Yes, they can see it, but they don’t “own” it until you name it. And owning it is the first step to…well, owning it!
• Then, tell them why they should covet it: “whimsical, nostalgic, personality”. Or “massive, important, statement piece” or “sturdy, comfy.”
• And finally, let them envision what this would look like if they owned it: “Which corner of your home” or “Won’t your family nestle into this sectional every evening” or “Can’t you just see geraniums or mums peeking out the wicker openwork?”

Next on SNOOZE ALARM the SERIES we’ll tackle talking about when you have massive amounts of great merchandise, how to tempt shoppers into a clearance sale, how to get them in to buy the dregs of a seasonal selection… and even, how to get in stuff you really really need. So don’t oversleep…come back tomorrow for some more (alarming?) ideas!