I’ve spent a couple of days thinking about how to talk about this. I don’t want to rave or preach. I want to say something that will help you realize that mental attitude is much more visible than you might imagine. And I want to offer, perhaps, a little mantra to make your day go smoother, and ultimately, your business to prosper.
So settle in, ‘cause I’m gonna talk about what’s not talked about in polite company. Grab an herbal tea or a Pabst Blue Ribbon or a Kir, and put aside, for just a moment, your attitude.
‘Cause it’s showing. And it ain’t pretty. Eavesdrop with me a moment. These are resale shop owners talking about the very people they serve, the people without whom they don’t have a business…
“ these morons who bring me junk!… Idiots!”
“yep, I’ve just been sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for you to show up”
“annoying newbies that ignore it all and bring us crud”
Yes, your attitude shows. If you think civilians, those non-retail folk who have items to consign, sell, or donate, are idiots and morons…it might be you’re looking at it all wrong.
Even if you have a how-to brochure, an entertaining 50-words-or-less explanation, and a business which screams the quality, stylishness, and class you have developed for your target shoppers, people will get it wrong. Why? Because it just is NOT that important to them.
And in addition, let me tell you straight (take a slug of the Kir here): there are fewer than 25% of the resale shops I have ever been in that actually are entitled to even mention “newbies that ignore it all”… because fewer than 1 in 4 shops tries to pre-educate potential suppliers, and even fewer do it well. So before you cop an attitude about idiots and morons, stop and think: have you truly tried to educate them? And why in heaven’s name would you expect a civilian to know that “your” customer doesn’t want Alfred Dunner trousers, or that the mode of transport she has chosen for her underloved garments isn’t to your liking? I mean, are you like, allergic to Hefty Bags or what, lady?
Now sure (here, have a soothing sip of chamomile), there will always be folks who try to “get away” with stuff. Such is life. Have none of you ever dealt with a crabby eight-year-old? That’s no reason to call the eight-year-old a baby. He’s just eight. Like your clients are just, well, NOT resale shopkeepers. They’re simply folk.
It’s up to you to “raise them right.” And you cannot do that by calling them, even out of their hearing, names. Because I guarantee you, they will see right through your attitude, just like an eight-year-old will.
So. Understand that to your suppliers, what you can sell for them is a mystery, and, to be perfectly honest, a mystery they could care less about. You’re the resaler, not them. That’s your job, not theirs.
Understand that you will, more often than you would like, have to sort through possessions that are less, often incredibly less, desirable than you would chose. That the relationship between what you think your clientele will want to buy, and what some folk want you to sell, is never going to be a perfect match. That you will always deal with some people that you cannot understand.
That doesn’t make them idiots or morons or anything else. That just makes them…people. And until you understand that their rejects are NOT as important to them as your business is to YOU… you will be chafing and growling and getting tummy aches. Get over it. They are not trying to ruin your day. But your attitude can ruin theirs, and yours…and your business in the bargain.
What’s the mantra that will help you deal with someone who doesn’t understand what it is you want? “I’m a professional. It’s my livelihood. She’s an amateur. It’s a minor part of her day. Why would I expect her to understand…or even to care?”
So why, you are probably saying to yourself, should Kate care about YOUR attitude? Well, I am a career resaler. And I want to tell anyone I run across, proudly, that I am a resaler. I want the title to be one with dignity, professionalism…and kindness.
Okay, grab another beer and ponder this a while. The next time someone darkens your door with things you wouldn’t wear to a dog fight… think of Kate, and smile gently, and murmur, “Thank you for thinking of us, but I’m afraid we just don’t have the customer for this.” Repeat as necessary. Then go in the back room, shine your halo, and unruffle those pretty wing feathers. Repeat as necessary.
(Need a drink now? Here’s a recipe for Kir.)
Auntie Kate The Resale Expert 
Within moments of receiving your latest with the great quote “we just don’t have a customer for this piece.”, I used it in a memo to our consignment staff.
Thank you for all your gifts of your deep experience and intelligence.
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Thank you Kate for taking the time to help us all be better business owners. I would much rather have a newbie leave with a clear vision of what our customers are looking for, and feel like the staff appreciated them choosing us to partner with.
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Kate–I so agree with you. I sometimes get depressed reading some of the posts on a few of the FB groups. The nice thing is that I rarely see those name calling posts on the NARTS group, which makes me happy and proud to be a member of NARTS! I always feel–without my consignors, I would be Nowhere!
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Thanks, Kerri. I don’t think it’s an issue of “name-calling” as much as that at times I see that consignors, who are as much a part of the business as those who purchase, are approached from the get-go with attitudes less than welcoming.
And then, when tired, overworked shopkeepers spend their time venting their spleen… I fail to see how this activity is beneficial to their businesses, or even their own mental calmness and composure.
I know, from personal experience, that when I complain to my DuH about incidents which riled me during my day, all I do is get all upset all over again and ruin my evening 😉 So the “venting” that some folks seem to cherish as their right is to me, unproductive and indeed, for the health of their businesses, counterproductive.
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I loved this post. We need to always keep this in mind. I love newbies because we have an opportunity to convert them into veterans! If we’re happy, they’re happy.
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Good to remember….hard to do sometimes. Being the owner of the business, I realize that i sometimes just take things too personally….I try to step away sometimes and let others do consignment intake.
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Good to remember Kate! We’re developing an employee manual and this might be a good addition to the required reading department.
Really, it goes hand in hand with the other thing you always say, “WIIFM?” If I remember right, the idea is the customer or consignor could really care less about your rules and policies, they just want to know what’s in it for me?!
We offer a service and you better believe I am grateful every day that our consignors bring us a never ending onslaught of merchandise to sell for them.
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your comments are worth hearing and I do agree; attitude can be read a mile away and it rubs off on those around the ones with attitude and not in a good way. I have taken customer service courses through my employer (upper management was required to attend too!), and we learned lots of good things. The problem is not everyone agrees “they are the problem”. I also remember to “smile when you say it”, even on the phone because believe me a smile on the other end of the line can be “seen”. I have the most issues with the volunteers and others who do not see how their attitude affects the store.
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[…] read this Deja Vuesday article. (And make sure you’re not one of those shops who ain’t entitled to have an attitude.) The article is long, and worth every word. Here it is. Click on me. Read more. Share this:FacebookTwitterPrintEmailLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]
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You know…Kate….I truly believe in the “Kill them with Kindness” philosophy….EACH one has indeed a set of concerns and issues that are different from mine. Regardless of my Throbbing headache, etc. I work part time in a ‘call centre’…..and if I had a nickel for everytime a ‘customer’ called me a horrible swear word, I would be a rich lady, but, I do believe it is our attitude that can make the difference. We do have a CHOICE in how we live, and the CHOICE that will make our businesses and our lives so much better is one that you describe. Thank you for the reminding.
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Personally, I love having [a giggle]…about the absurd items dropped off at the store – how about a wooden sled in shards and pieces because, “Someone might buy it to repair it.” But we have a strict rule in our store, and that’s that any complaining has to be done with a smile and a laugh, and after hours. No talking about a drop off while the store is open and has customers in it, even in the back room!
I’ll take dealing with a rude newbie with 6 garbage bags of junk anyday over my previous 9 – 5 job where I detested the guy I worked for – every single interaction was soul-crushing. Now I have a job where I work part time, make money, get great press, and build fantastic relationships. Every behind the scenes eye-rolling that goes on happens with a smile on my face – because my worst day here is always better than my best day at my old job!
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Kate… this was perfect timing for me. I spent FIVE hours yesterday working on incoming. And while my store was closed and I was alone, I mumbled and uttered and even outloud said things like “what would make them bring this to my store” “hello, do I LOOK like GW to you people?”
So reading this was the best thing for me. It reminded me they could easily take their stuff down the road to my competitor, and while alot of their stuff was undesirable for my store, there were the diamonds in the rough.
As well alot of my sellers are also my customers. And I see how I could lose my store in the attitude.
I have typed out the mantra and taped it over my incoming computer.
Thanks again for being you!!
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Pabst Blue Ribbon? Do they even sell that in Florida? You are so on target, it’s not even funny. Ironically this weekend my priority was to make a “How to Prepare Your Items” brochure, which is hopefully informative, light and funny too. It is sad that it has taken me a year to do this, although there was an anemic handout prior to this. One thing we did do is thank our suppliers because we couldn’t have the store without them! Can’t say I kept it to 50 words or less…I can’t even greet someone in so few words, LOL!
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Kate,
I think this was a great article. This is the busy time of year. I know we all get stressed out as there is more incoming than we know what to do with. But without it, we don’t have a business.
I make a point of every time someone comments on how much they like my shop or the selection, I tell them we are so lucky that our consignors bring us such great stuff. And I mean it. Without my consignors, I have nothing to offer to my customers who want to buy. It’s that simple.
Thanks again for your wonderful words of wisdom.
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Thanks Kate. I think you are right on the money…it may seem like just complaining amongst our peers, or “venting” to people who will understand, but certainly our attitudes match what we vent about, our customers/suppliers can surely sense our attitudes.
What’s that saying…you can’t always control what people do to you, the only thing you can control is your reaction to it? Thanks for reminding me to keep my attitude fresh and to stay away from negativity and venting.
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I always say what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger. I take each and every person that walks though our shop door as another lesson I need to learn about my business or myself. If someone is confused at how I explain things, I sit down and try to figure out how I could say it better next time.
Also I believe what is on my tongue is on my face. That consignor with the stuff that we don’t sell in our shop can see right through me unless I can convince myself that not everyone will be a perfect fit and people are not intentionally bringing me things I cannot sell. Kindness matters, even in thought.
I can remember each time consignors brought me things that we could not sell, they came back with something better the next time. These ladies and guys still consign with us because I NEVER made them feel inferior, I never grimaced. Attitude is everything, thanks Kate for that I needed it!
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Here, here, great reminder. No matter if the 8th large new batch of the day comes in 10 minutes till close, I will remember to repeat as necessary, repeat as necessary, repeat as necessary that I do not have a customer for her 1989 blouse, lol. Seriously, no matter what you are thinking, always and I mean always greet them with a smile and when they say “I have things in the car, would you like to see them”, (even if you are filled to the rafters), smile and say “sure would”! That is our business and pays the bills.
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Totally true! Why are we so drawn to focus on the negative? I just love to bitch and moan about jerky behavior . . . and know it’s just wrong – I truly believe the bad aura in the shop reaches through the parking lot! So (when we remember to) we’ve got a thing going where after an “uneducated consignor” who irks the living daylights out of us leaves the shop, one of the staff members has to find one nice thing to say about them out loud to help us re-set. One time it was “Wow! She uses my favorite brand of trash bag!”
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WEll said,Kate. I often have to remind myself that even if I get everyone “trained” there will always be another newbie around the corner. ONce I got that through my head things got a lot more fun for me!
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