Another installment of the thrilling series

SNOOZE ALARM: Really really boring ways to say things

Some exceedingly talented consignment, resale, and thrift shopkeepers can manage not only to sound boring, but bossy in the same 140 characters.

Case in point:

Reminder: Year-End TAG SALE going on NOW at….

A better way to get folks in? How about

Got your special deals yet? They’re going fast at…

Why this is better:

• “Reminder” is a nag word. Who wants to be nagged?
• “Year-end tag sale”… who wants to buy stuff at a tag sale? Who wants to buy tags? What the heck does year-end have to do with ME, the customer?
• Posing a question is always good… in fact, let’s make a rule. Try a question as your headline, subject line, first.
• and using “your special deals” makes your reader feel, well, special. And smart, to find deals.

See Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 of SNOOZE ALARM. Then, if you are alarmed at how much your wording could be improved, be sure you have a copy of Words that Sell! from Too Good to be Threw. It’s a best-selling Product for the Professional Resaler.