Auntie Kate The Resale Expert

Thoughts upon receiving a charity function invitation:

If you are going to charge me $50 for “wine and…” at least spell it correctly.

hor d’orves
Hor Dourves
hor’dourves
hor dourves

My goodness. Even if it’s Cheetos (registration mark) and cubes of “cheese food” on toothpicks,

Spell it right.

epicurious*.com, which prides itself on its intellectuality, says things like “We are unable to find an exact match for: easy snack hor dourves, quick & easy hor dourves.” When they SHOULD be saying

it’s HORS D’OEUVRES or, even simpler, APPETIZERS. The English take it one step further to simple with STARTERS. Or how’s about, in the American we’re-all-just-folks tradition, MUNCHIES?

Here’s the 411.

Can’t be bothered with spelling correctly, it’s so old-school? (Old skool?) Pretend you’re a Mountain Woman, like my stepmother was, and call them

horse ovaries.

At least that’s CUTE.

* epicurious. A made-up word referring epi-, meaning food, and -curious, meaning curious. All words, of course, start out being made up, and actually, I think epicurious has a shot at the Big Time. “I’m epicurious about escargots.” Has a certain ring, ya know? Better than “What  the #%$^&^$, snails?”