The paradox of a complaint is that is an attempt by your customer to develop a closer relationship with you, not, as it might seem, a more distant one. Customers complain because they think you care about what they have to say. So while a complaint is not the same as a compliment, it can just as easily serve as the means for both parties to get to know one another better, and develop more of a relationship.
Thoughtful quote, huh? Do wish I remembered where I saved it from, for you.
Let me repeat that:
Customers complain because they think you care about what they have to say.
And isn’t that GREAT? You have built a relationship to the point where they will put themselves forward, knowing that you care about them. You’ve done something wonderful… something that Walmart or Target or Macy’s hasn’t. So let that complaint truly
serve as the means for both parties to get to know one another better, and develop more of a relationship.
Has a complaint from a customer or client, donor or seller, allowed YOU to build the relationship… not to mention, see yourself as others see you? And what a gift that is. Comment, below, if you have ever had a business complaint that enabled you to grow closer to the person, and to improve the perception of your business overall.
Graphic from http://positivesharing.com/
Auntie Kate The Resale Expert 
One of my consigners complained that I did not have size signs up on shelving for shoes. She was right–that is something we needed to do, and I told her so, and added that I would have to look into the best way to do it. She came back a week later with small, laminated labels she had made for me that I could stick on the shelves! She explained that since she had complained, she thought she should help be part of the solution.
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Does she need a job? 😉
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What I’ve found in many cases, is that people who complain either don’t understand your “policies” or choose not to acknowledge them. Once you explain things in a way they can understand, usually they come around. Recent case in point–we had a consignor who was very unhappy with the price her child’s bike sold for and what she ultimately earned. She gave my manager a very hard time about it, and the manager explained that of course we could not sell her used bike for the same price she bought it for. (Plus–it sold the last week of the consignment–so it sold at 50% off). Jenn explained that not only did it sell on sale, but had we put a higher price to begin with–it may not have sold at all. The consignor was quite annoyed (she’s been consigning with us for about 6 years mind you), and took her money and left. The next day, she called and apologized to Jenn and told her she just was having a bad day, and she knows we try very hard to sell her things for her at a good price, etc.
Sometimes they are just having a bad day, and if you can talk to them and explain things in a non-confrontational way, they come around. We also were able to use that opportunity to reinforce how we go about pricing things so that she can feel assured that we don’t just put any old price we want on something.
One more quick story–3 years ago, a man came in with his wife–they were very upset that an item they wanted sold before they arrived at the store. They knew it was there, but didn’t come to see it for 3 days after we called them. We hold things for 24 hours, which they knew–they didn’t come in 24 hours, so it sold to the next person who wanted it. He proceeded to start yelling at me–yes–yelling. I remained very calm and said, “If you are going to speak to me that way, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store.” He yelled again–I said, “Please leave the store”. His wife told him to leave too–he went outside and did not come back in that day. Ever since that day, he has been as nice as ever to me. I think he saw that he wasn’t going to fluster me and be able to badger his way to what he wanted–and realized his behavior wasn’t going to work–so now he’s nice–but I’ve NEVER forgotten how rude he was. But we were able to take that opportunity to reinforce our hold policy with his wife, and we’ve not had this problem again.
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For all the lovely quotes there are about being kind to the other person because “you don’t know what they’re going through”… it’s still a shock to be treated like the garbage pail, isn’t it? Why do we get to be the dumped-upon? Why can’t we react when we’re having the bad day? Well, as you’ve pointed out, Kerri, if we can take that deep breath, remember that whatever we’ve done we were not in the wrong, and be non-confrontational, the incident will pass. Thanks for giving us those two stories.
I think this is a big issue in consignment, resale, and thrift, because we all work so hard at doing right all the time by our suppliers and shoppers, and we can feel this all goes by the wayside when someone complains. Would that man have yelled at Macy’s for not holding the unique item he wanted for 3 days? No… because Macy’s would not have watched for that item for him, put it aside, and contacted him in the first place. So a complaint is an attack on our personal effort and our business mission.
So when people badger, try to fluster, yell, give us a hard time… it hurts. The key is, to as they say “don’t take it so personal”… but look upon the incident as an intense opportunity to connect. Sure, it hurts, but (as they say 😉 ) that’s life. And life happens.
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This post couldn’t have come at a better time. This past week I received quite a letter from a disgruntled, as I am informed, previous consignor and former shopper. I was informed by this person of many issues – as this person saw it. I wish I could have had the opportunity to speak with this person face to face, as I think it was quite childish that this person couldn’t come to me and speak with about the issues they see and explain my point of view. But I am taking their complaint and moving on, learning as I go.
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Don’t you hate that, Shanna! It’s like a lecture instead of a conversation. But at least it gives you the upper hand… you have the time and space to construct a short, genuine written reply. But it’s so hard, isn’t, it, to get the “bad taste” out of your mouth. I know; I’ve received these as well.
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This quote may have been relevant in the past but today the few complaints I do get are from Yelpers who hide behind their accounts and don’t have the maturity to speak with me directly before they leave the store. In today’s social media world few complain “…because they think you care about what they say”. My experience is just the opposite. When I politely reply to a Yelp rating I never get a response. If they cared about what I have to say then they would respond or talk with me directly in the store. Today’s social media complaints don’t “serve as the means for both parties to get to know one another better, and develop more of a relationship” because there is no communication except from those who hide behind their social media account and never identify themselves. I would love to have such an opportunity but in today’s social media world the opportunity rarely presents itself.
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Thank you, Jody, but I believe the quote, and certainly my post, was directed towards face-to-face confrontations and experiences, not solely what is referred to as “social media”… as if talking to one another isn’t social or media 😉
Yelp is a topic in and of itself, that’s for sure. And a vexatious one. If the only place you get complaints is on one web site, none elsewhere in your professional life, that’s terrific! But most shopkeepers do have situations in their shops, and that’s what the quote was meant to refer to. I appreciate your pointing out another aspect of resale shopkeeping, though.
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